Parenting in the Age of Anxiety: Why “Take It as It Comes” No Longer Works

By Shannon Kapp

I’ve spent three decades working with kids and their parents, and I can tell you without hesitation, there’s been a seismic shift. Parenting today is nothing like it was twenty or thirty years ago. The ground has moved beneath our feet, and a lot of parents haven’t realized it yet.

The Way We Were Raised Isn’t the World Our Kids Are Growing Up In

I was on a long call this morning with a dad trying to make sense of his teenager’s anxiety and exhaustion. We ended up talking about how we were parented versus what it takes to parent now. The truth is, every parent pulls from their past.

• If we thought our parents did it right, we try to reproduce it.

• If we thought they blew it, we try to do the opposite.

The problem is, the world our kids are growing up in doesn’t look anything like the one we were raised in. What worked for us doesn’t automatically work for them.

When I was a kid, you could “take it as it comes” and survive.
Your child came home from a bad day, you sat down, talked it through, and moved on.

But today? It’s different.

The New Reality: Kids Are Overstimulated and Overwhelmed

According to a 2025 UNICEF study, more than 60% of young people between 14 and 25 say they feel anxious and overwhelmed most of the time. Odds are, that’s your kid, or one sitting next to them in class.

Our kids live in a world where pressure doesn’t pause:

• Information never stops coming.

• Social comparison never shuts off.

• School, sports, relationships, and politics bleed together online 24/7.

• Every headline, every comment, every notification can send their nervous system into overdrive.

We’ve officially moved out of the “take it as it comes” era and into the age of preemptive parenting—because it’s not a matter of if your kid will face stress, anxiety, and identity pressure. It’s when.

The Parenting Shift: From Reaction to Preparation

Most parents don’t realize they’re still parenting reactively, waiting for something to happen before they step in. The problem is, by the time “something” happens, your child’s already deep in it.

Preemptive parenting is different. It’s proactive. It’s intentional. It means parenting with an awareness of what’s coming, not just what’s in front of you.

It’s teaching your child how to regulate, not just how to behave.
It’s helping them identify feelings before they explode.
It’s building resilience when things are calm, not scrambling when things fall apart.

The Job Description of a Parent Has Changed

I told that dad this morning, “My number-one job as a father was to make sure my kids didn’t need me.”

That sounds counterintuitive, but it’s true. Because one day they’re going to walk out the door, and whether they’re ready or not will come down to what I did before that day arrived.

If there was ever a clash of desires, disagreements, or disappointments, my parenting had to run through the filter of independence.

My job was to prepare them for life, not protect them from it.

That meant training them in:

• Problem-solving

• Critical thinking

• Emotional regulation

• Resilience

• Boundaries

• Self-awareness

Those aren’t soft skills. They’re survival skills in the world our kids are inheriting.

The Hard Truth

I don’t have hard statistics for this next part, but I’d be shocked if more than 10% of parents intentionally educate themselves about parenting, through books, workshops, podcasts, or counseling. Most are just winging it.

That’s not because they’re bad parents. It’s because most were raised in a world where winging it worked. You could just love your kids, pay the bills, and show up. That used to be enough.

But the world has changed, and our kids need more from us.

The Hope

Here’s the good news: parenting isn’t about perfection, it’s about awareness.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to be willing to grow.

Start by asking questions. Learn new tools. Stop parenting out of your past and start parenting for your child’s future.

The goal isn’t to protect them from every hard thing, it’s to equip them to face those things and still stand.

Because the world is coming fast.
And our kids don’t need perfect parents.
They need present, prepared ones.

Keep Going

If this hit home, don’t stop here.

Check out our archive of practical parenting tools and resources on the If You Don’t Quit You Win blog.

Want to dig deeper? Here are three books we recommend for parents navigating this new world:

• The Power of Showing Up — Daniel Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson

• Raising Emotionally Strong Boys / Raising Worry-Free Girls — David Thomas & Sissy Goff

• Building Resilient Kids — Kenneth Ginsburg

Want more hands-on help? Consider having our team come to your school, church, or event for a workshop on parenting, resilience, and mental health. We’d love to equip your community with hope and practical tools for the kids who need it most. - inquire at: shannon@ifyoudontquityouwin.com