Don’t Wait. Why the work that matters most happens before the crisis

There is an ancient parable about building a house.

Two men build. One is wise and builds his house on rock. The other builds his house on sand. For a while, both houses stand. From the outside, there’s nothing obviously wrong. In fact, you could easily imagine the man on the sand feeling pretty good about his decision. The build was easier. The ground was softer. Maybe the view was better. Maybe there was even a little beachfront appeal. When the weather is good, sand can look like a perfectly reasonable option.

Then the storm comes.

Rain falls. Wind rises. The ground shifts. The house built on rock stands firm. The house built on sand collapses. The parable is clear. Foundations matter. What you build on eventually reveals itself, especially when conditions change.

That’s the story as it’s been told for generations.

A Bigger Fool (Or at Least More Short-Sighted)

The parable calls the man who built on sand a fool. Maybe. At the very least, he was short-sighted. He made a decision based on comfort, convenience, and what looked good in the moment, without thinking much about what would happen when the weather turned.

But I want to submit there’s a character not mentioned in the story, and in my opinion, he’s the bigger fool.

He’s the one who waits until the storm is already in full force and then decides it’s time to start building. He didn’t just choose poorly. He chose too late.

He’s standing in sideways rain, wind tearing things apart, trying to lay a foundation while the ground is already shifting beneath him. That’s not wisdom. That’s panic. And panic is a terrible builder.

Why Waiting Feels So Reasonable

Waiting almost always feels responsible. Nothing is obviously wrong. Your kid seems fine. Your student is still performing. Your team is showing up. No alarms. No urgent calls. No reason to believe a storm is coming.

So the conversations feel optional. The preparation feels premature. The work can wait.

And honestly, it’s hard to blame anyone for thinking that way. The house on the sand looks just fine when the sun is out. It always does. Beachfront property has a way of convincing people they’ve made a smart choice at least for now.

The Cost of Building in a Storm

We don’t buy insurance because we need it today. We buy it because there’s a chance we will. Preparation isn’t fear. It’s wisdom. It’s love practiced ahead of time.

But when it comes to mental health, emotional resilience, and crisis prevention, many people wait until urgency forces action.

When crisis hits, everything becomes harder. Fear gets louder than clarity. Emotions start driving decisions. Trust has very little margin. Everyone is exhausted before help even begins.

Trying to build a foundation in that moment is like trying to pour concrete while the ground is still moving. You can do it, but the cost is high and the margin for error is small.

The Call That Changes Everything

I once invited a dad into a conversation about mental health, resilience, and prevention. He was kind. He wasn’t dismissive. He just didn’t engage. Life was busy. Nothing felt urgent.

Three weeks later, he called me in a panic. He had just discovered his fourteen-year-old daughter was self-harming.

Now everything mattered. Now the questions were desperate. Now fear was setting the pace.

And yes, we helped. We always do. But I couldn’t help wondering how different that moment might have been if the conversation had happened before the storm instead of in the middle of it.

Not because he was a bad dad.
Because he waited.

Don’t Wait

This isn’t about blame. It’s about timing.

Don’t wait until fear forces the conversation. Don’t wait until crisis dictates the tone. Don’t wait until the storm becomes the teacher.

Build before you need the structure. Practice the conversations before they carry life-and-death weight. Create safety before someone is desperate for it.

Storms are unavoidable.
Panic is optional.
Preparation is wisdom.

And sometimes the difference between standing firm and scrambling to survive is as simple and as difficult as this: Don’t wait.

So… Don’t Wait for What?

Don’t wait for certainty.
Don’t wait for proof.
Don’t wait for the crisis to introduce itself.

Storms rarely announce their arrival. They show up quietly, gradually, and then all at once.

Instead, here’s what not waiting actually looks like.

What You Can Do Before the Storm

You don’t need to overhaul your life. You don’t need a perfect plan. You just need to start building something before urgency forces your hand.

1. Start the Conversation Early

Don’t wait for the “right moment.” It rarely comes.

Ask questions now when the stakes are lower and the tone can be calm.
“How are you really doing?”
“What’s been heavier lately?”
“What do you do when things feel overwhelming?”

These conversations don’t create problems. They create margin.

2. Learn the Signs Before You Need Them

Don’t wait until you’re Googling in a panic.

Take time to learn what emotional distress actually looks like especially in teenagers and young adults. Mood shifts, isolation, secrecy, sudden changes in behavior. None of these mean crisis by themselves, but together they tell a story.

Preparation gives you language before fear takes it away.

3. Build a Short List of Support

Don’t wait until you’re desperate to figure out who to call.

Know ahead of time:

• Who you trust to talk things through

• Who has experience you don’t

• Who can stay steady when emotions run high

You don’t need ten people. You need two or three.

4. Normalize Asking for Help

Don’t wait until help feels like failure.

Talk openly about counseling, coaching, therapy, and support as tools not emergencies. The earlier they’re normalized, the less threatening they feel when they’re needed.

The goal isn’t independence.
The goal is resilience.

5. Invest in Prevention, Not Just Reaction

Don’t wait until crisis forces engagement.

Read. Learn. Show up. Engage with resources that help you build emotional safety and awareness before you’re in survival mode.

The best time to prepare is when things are “fine.”

This Is What Building on Rock Looks Like

Building on rock isn’t dramatic. It’s often boring. It’s quiet. It looks like conversations no one applauds and preparation no one sees.

But when the storm comes, and it will, you’re not starting from zero.

You’re standing on something solid.

Don’t Wait

Don’t wait for fear to make the decisions for you.
Don’t wait for urgency to set the pace.
Don’t wait until you’re trying to build while everything is already shaking.

Preparation isn’t panic.
It’s love practiced ahead of time.

And sometimes, it’s the difference between responding to a crisis and preventing one altogether.